Part 2 of two articles which address the most widespread conflicts in marriage
Two factors impact marriages more than anything else: how you and your spouse understand Love (communication) and Money (finances).
In a marriage, these two elements can complement one another … or compete with each other.
Some conflict in marriage is inevitable. But a lack of oneness in communication and finances may lead you to feel stuck in your marriage or even prompt you to consider bailing out.
Whether you realize it or not, God’s pairing of you and your spouse is purposeful. The two of you can complete each other, particularly when it comes to your relationship and your finances.
But first, you must recognize the misconceptions that may stand in your way. Once you have a handle on the truths about love and money in God’s Word, you can apply them to produce a transformation in your life and in your marriage. (Part 1 addresses misconceptions you may have about love in marriage.)
Recognize Misconceptions about Money in Marriage
It is easy for men and women to adopt today’s false views about money and bring those into their marriage. Consider today’s commonly-accepted misconceptions about money:
- Misconception about Quantity: “More Money Is Better”
Western culture is conditioned to believe that quantity is superior to quality. Part of that mentality stems from the Depression-era motto, “Get all you can and can all you get,” when scarcity drove frugality. Yet today, excess is embraced. We buy the lie that success is measured by the accumulation of wealth.
- Misconception about Solutions: “Money Buys Happiness”
Certainly you need adequate money to pay your bills and provide for your family. Yet to consider money to be the answer to every problem is to place it on a pedestal. In doing so, money becomes an idol leading to discord, dissatisfaction, and conflict.
- Misconception about Priorities: “Money Takes Precedence’
When money becomes your top priority, then relationships (with God, family, and friends) and even quality of life take a back seat. Rather than a tool, money becomes a goal.
- Misconception about Ownership: “Money Belongs to Us”
“The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it” (Psalm 24:1, NIV). How easy it is to forget that God gives you the ability to acquire wealth. All that you have belongs to God and comes from Him.
The truth about money in marriage is quite different from commonly-accepted lies.
Embrace the Truth about Money in Marriage
Hidden lies about money are subtle. You may not be aware of their threats until those dangers have entwined themselves around your heart. So strong is the hold of money that you need God’s help in letting it go. Start by asking Him these questions:
- In what ways can I cultivate contentment with my finances? (Philippians 4:11-12)
- In what ways can I change my attitude from loving money to seeing it as a tool? (1 Timothy 6:10)
- In what ways can I manage my time and resources better in order to invest more into my relationships? (Matthew 6:19-20)
- In what ways can I be a good steward of all which God has entrusted to me? (1 Timothy 6:20)
By accepting common misconceptions about money without challenge, you may unwittingly plant seeds of strife in your marriage.
But when you ask God to change your heart about money, He can set you free to build a healthy, vibrant union.
Love & Money
Love & Money, Part 1: The Truth About Love in Marriage
More Articles About Marriage from Ministry Insights
Different By Design, Part 1: Surprised By Differences With Your Spouse
Different By Design, Part 2: Incompatibility – a Powerful Basis for a Great Marriage
Different By Design, Part 3: Problem Solving Together With Your Spouse
Different By Design, Part 4: Processing Information With Your Spouse
Different By Design, Part 5: Managing Change Together With Your Spouse
Different By Design, Part 6: Facing Risk Together With Your Spouse
Different By Design, Part 7: Managing Differences From This Day Forward