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Quick Insight: This Is NOT As Good As It Gets

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Insights are short, biblical truths to equip you to lead from your strengths.

Dave and Joan sat on opposite sides of the dining room table, their checkbook in the middle.

“That is not what I think we should do,” said Joan, pointing to the checkbook.

Happy couple in front of computerDave shook his head. “I just don’t understand you.”

Like clockwork, the monthly bill paying session escalated into a full-blown argument. Beginning on the day they had returned from their honeymoon, Dave and Joan came together each month to pay their bills – just as they had been advised to do in their premarital counseling. Yet they struggled to find common ground.

The couple looked at each other. “Is this as good as it gets?” they wondered.

One Subtle Lie in Marriage

Dave and Joan were stuck in a rut, resigning themselves to the present condition of their marriage or worse, potentially throwing in the towel and giving up. They were in danger of making a big mistake in marriage: buying into the subtle lie that there is no hope for their relationship to change, to grow, and to become more unified … let alone become more intimate.

Like Dave and Joan, you may be frustrated or simply weary in your marriage. Maybe you and your spouse experience overwhelming conflict and have reached what appears to be an impossible impasse. Or perhaps over time you have simply accepted a boring but predictable relationship, vowing to avoid confrontation or change because it’s “just too hard.” Or maybe you have a good marriage, but you long for it to be great.

It can be easy to buy the subtle lie that “this is as good as it gets.”

Don’t settle for it.

One Simple Truth in Marriage

The problem is not that there are differences between you and your spouse about money or about any other issue.  The problem is how you look at the differences you have with your spouse.

Conflict … strife … division … apathy … complacency … it can be easy to get caught up in the turmoil that is so typical in relationships today by buying into the lie that “this is just the way it is,” meaning that your differences are insurmountable and it’s either time to bow out or simply just survive.

But what if you looked at your spouse’s differences in a different way? What if you saw your spouse’s differences as a gift rather than as a burden?

“For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving” (1 Timothy 4:4, NIV).

  • Your spouse’s strengths were given by God and are good … even if their strengths are different than yours.
  • You can embrace those strengths, rather than push them away.
  • You can be thankful for your spouse’s strengths and discover how those strengths complete yours.

You don’t need to blindly accept differences in your marriage the way everyone else views them – as an obstacle.  That view is not only destructive. It’s also a lie.

The truth is that your spouse’s differences are a gift. When you see your spouse’s differences with value and begin to honor those differences, then your marriage can get better and better.

No matter where you are in your marriage, this is NOT as good as it gets. Your marriage can thrive.

It’s all in how you look at your differences.

 

This Is NOT as Good As It Gets. It Gets Better.

Read 1 Timothy 4:4 in your favorite translation.

  • Everything God created is good, which means your spouse’s strengths are a gift from God. What are some of the God-given strengths you see in your spouse?
  • What are some ways you may have inadvertently rejected those strengths? How can you reverse course and find ways to embrace those strengths?
  • Take some time to thank God for the strengths He has placed in your spouse.

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