We’ve all heard it, and we all know it. Opposites attract.
There’s a certain intensity or chemistry that bubbles up when you meet that special someone who is your polar opposite, like two magnets irrefutably drawn together.
Although that opposition can be exciting and fun, it can become – over time – annoying. The very thing that brought you together can be the exact thing that drives you apart.
You like arriving ten minutes early. Your spouse prefers to be fashionably late. That may not seem like a big deal, but it can become a source of tension over time. And that’s only one minor issue. Sure, you can learn to compromise, and that will work for some things, but if you want to grow stronger in your marriage, you’ll need a deeper approach.
Instead, strive for a strengths-based marriage. By understanding your strengths and your spouse’s, you can learn to support, encourage and make one another better.
All the nagging imbalances probably won’t go away, but they won’t tend to be as annoying.
Here are a few ways you can ensure you’re building a strengths-based marriage continue growing together.
Work as a team.
Every good team knows what they need to do to win. The right players are always put into positions suited to their strengths and abilities. The same is true for you and your spouse. You may believe you should be taking care of the finances, but your spouse is better with numbers. If that’s the case, then switch roles. The same goes for cooking, cleaning, and planning. Find out what you each do well, and slide into the roles that fit you best. Your marriage will become more resilient.
Support one another.
Nobody likes being reminded of their weaknesses. But that can be easy to do when someone else’s weakness is your strength. That can be used to manipulate or control. Be careful not to fall into that trap. Nothing divides couples more than when they are against each other. Be supportive and encouraging, even when it feels difficult.
Establish mutual respect.
Just because you’re stronger than your spouse in a particular area doesn’t automatically make you a better person; you’re just different. Therefore, treat each other respectfully. Embrace and celebrate your differences. Find peace in the fact that you were drawn together for a reason. Be sure to reconcile your differences properly, be considerate, and don’t hold mistakes over one another.
Your marriage is your most valuable relationship. Take care of it. Make sure you and your spouse are doing everything you can to grow together, using your strengths wisely.
Take our marriage assessment so you can keep building your marriage on a foundation of shared strengths. It will help to relieve the tension that comes from being so opposite.